WELCOME TO
THE VELVET INBOX!
WHERE EMAILS DON'T JUST GET OPENED—THEY BUILD RAVING FANS WHO ACTUALLY BUY.
THIS is a space of irreverence, playfulness, and counterculture. It welcomes every race, orientation, gender, abilities, and neurodivergent brain. Our products and services stay accessible. No high-ticket culture here.
READ THE MANIFESTO (anchor link)
UP AT THE MIC: YOUR EMAIL EMCEE
GREG HALPEN
Velvet-Rope coaching biz strategist, cabaret artist and creative headliner
If this was
Cabaret artist, anti-hustle business strategist, and the original torch singer of your business infrastructure.
I’m obsessed with scary movies, DIY home design, and taking the exact things you feel the most shame about and transforming them into your primary asset.
GROSS EMAIL MARKETING TACTICS WERE MY NERVOUS SYSTEM
FEAR-BASED EMAILS PISSING ME OFF.
Over the years I struggled with understand the ins and outs of email marketing. Believing that I needed to copy the greats. Boring, mundane, and fueled my fear about my self-worth. Can ya blame a guy who
GATEKEEPING
YOUR SPOTLIGHT HITS CENTER STAGE.
HIGH-TICKET PRESSURE
BANK SCCOUNT SCREEN SHOTS
FEAR TACTICS
So I said FUCK those capitalist oinkers. And now!
I’m a sassy-ass, sexy daddy where I use my hard-to-turn-off creative brain and diverse theater background to build lists and write emails
emails that don’t just get opened—THEY BUILD RAVING FANS WHO ACTUALLY BUY.
I use 30+ years of professional theater performance and two decades of business coaching, to help bring irreverent personality into your email marketing.
Because doesn’t like a little rebellious drama?
YOU FOUND YOUR SPOTLIGHT, BABE.
THE EMCEE
MEET THE TEAM
THE STORYTELLER
THE FREEBIE QUEEN
Life makes us small sometimes. We learn to smooth the voice down. Perform certainty nobody actually feels.
Why is your coaching business so invisible? Like, can't-see-you invisible. What are you hiding behind that velvet curtain?
We're plowed down by mixed messages, gatekeeping paparazzi, and inaccessibility. Welcome to the cabaret, where irreverence and strategy meet to give you permission to be the star of your biz.
Where the corporate clothes come off and your emails do the talking. Exhausting, right? You're not alone in that.
I want to read emails that represent the real you.
Here's what this is instead. Say the uncomfortable thing first. Take the important stuff seriously, the rules a lot less so. Keep it affordable, no upsells, no gatekeeping. Let your voice stay loud. Rest when you need to, because hustle was a dance move, not a business model.
You're not a one-hit wonder desperate for your next big hit.
You're the main headliner, singing sultry torch songs to an electric audience.
You're the owner of a cabaret lounge where you get to design it your way.
Fuck fitting in.
Feel that too? Let's talk...
A radical manifesto
